Golden Moth Featured on a Podcast!

Hi folks,

I was interviewed by astrologist and tarot intuitive, Nicholas Dewart (read his previous guest blog post here) for his second podcast: Shining Light on the Golden Moth Illumination Deck. This was the first-ever podcast that I've been featured in, so it was fun and exciting to do. Nicholas asked very thought-provoking questions on how I went about creating the deck, the symbolism and influences behind it, and tips for other people who want to create their own decks.

I hope you enjoy it! Listen HERE.

Photo by Nicholas Dewart

Golden Moth and the New Year’s Spread - Guest Post by Nicholas Dewart

Hi Folks! 

I'm excited to feature a guest blogger named Nicholas Dewart. Nicholas reached out to me last year after creating this video review of the Golden Moth Deck on YouTube. I thought it was an awesome review and I enjoyed hearing his insights on the cards. When I put out the call for guest bloggers on my Golden Moth Facebook group (please feel free to join!) he graciously obliged with a fascinating article on creating an intentional reading every New Moon/New Year and combining the energies of two decks. If you like this, you can find links to more of Nicholas' writings and podcast below.

I welcome others to submit guest posts for this blog because everyone has something unique to share. Please e-mail me with proposals about your experiences/tips/practices using The Golden Moth Illumination Deck: good_old_fashioned_smell (at) hotmail (dot) com. I'd love to hear from you!

And now on to Nicholas' post!

* * *

Golden Moth and the New Year’s Spread

Tarot and Oracle cards make great friends and as friends they offer insights, novel perspectives and just the right amount of guidance to illicit those “Ah-Ha” moments. So, who better to meet with then the cards for setting intentions and connecting with new energies and circumstances? 

 

I consult the cards every New Year in order to better align with the positive changes and newness that the fresh year has to offer. Well…to be honest, I consult one card, at the start of the New Year, and it’s from my trusty Aleister Crowley’s ‘Thoth’ deck. I ask, “What energy should I embody to be the most empowered this year?”

 

This time (2016) I pulled, XIV-Art, as my card for the year. To me, XIV-Art, from the Thoth deck, is about being a work in progress. The card clearly shows a woman in the process of making something.

Crowley himself describes the card in his, ‘The Book of Thoth’:

“Combination of forces, realization, action based on accurate calculation; the way of escape, success after elaborate maneuvers.”

Wow! I thought, ART! This is going to be my year! I want to live the life of an artist. I want to write and express my thoughts. I hope for those thoughts to be entertaining, insightful and well received.

 

And this is precisely the issue with only consulting one deck when searching for guidance. It’s hard to read for yourself. All of the energy around the XIV-Art card sounds too good to be true and I thought my subjective desire might be reading too much into this card. Are there subtle messages I’m missing in what I see to be a very blunt statement: to embody “ART”?

 

That’s when it hit me. If the cards were truly my friends why would I only consult one deck? To me the Thoth deck is a hard hitting, tell-it-to-me straight kind of friend so why not incorporate another? I wanted a unique voice…

 

In walks Aijung Kim’s distinctive ‘The Golden Moth Illumination Deck’ with its clean lines and idiosyncratic style. Yes, the Thoth offers something specific. The guidance it provided would be my main focus for the year but I need another’s vision in what it meant to be living the Artist’s-Way.

 

So, I created a three-card spread using the Golden Moth to compliment my “Card for the Year” in order to add needed layers of understanding of what it means to live like the "XIV-Art" card. Here’s the breakdown of my questions and what I pulled:

 

1. How best do I employ the energy of the Art card? Golden Moth - #3
2. How will I know if I’m on track with my progress in 2016? Golden Moth - #49
3. How will I know if I’m off track with my progress in 2016? Golden Moth - #8

With the Golden Moth #3 card I learned that I must embrace new structures that are both pertinent and meaningful to my 2016 artist journey. The four shells in the card show me that I’ve outgrown some of the old aspects of my life that used to contain me. The number four to me (as in the four pictured shells) is the number of structure and absolutely shows me that discipline is the key. Since these shells are empty, I’m leaving the old structures behind and am in need of new ones. There’s an aspect of reinvention needed here.

From the Rider-Waite-Smith deck

I love the image of Golden Moth #49 for showing me how I will know when I’m on track. The picture reminds me of the I-Magician card from the Rider-Waite-Smith deck as it’s got a full lush and blooming garden. I personally appreciate how there’s not a person in this perfectly pruned and organized landscape. Things are growing in-and-of themselves. Of course, this garden is man-made but the lack of a human in the picture shows me that I need to have trust in the process. I’ll need to commit to my new structures and put in the hard and organized work but after that I’ll need to let go and allow nature to do her thing. I don’t need to be thinking of the garden at all times. In other words, I don’t need to “stink of Zen” as my favorite author Alan Watts expresses it in his book ‘The Way of Zen.’  

 

I will know I’m off track this year if I’m not actively pursuing my dream as depicted in the Golden Moth #8. This is a warning against passivity and a caution against living in a reverie. I will be in bad shape if I’m generally lethargic and spending too much time passively visualizing this year. With this insight I think it will be important to make sure I exercise and stay physically fit to the do work ahead of me. I may not need to sprint but I better not be sleeping on the job when pursuing my goals this year.

These Golden Moth cards really did give me a nice change of voice from the Thoth deck and offered me a much clearer picture of how to approach the year ahead.  

Interpreting the cards is only part of the process. What you do with the insights gained, to me, is what matters most. As of writing this (Feb. 12, 2016 – 12:13pm PST) we are 43 days away from my New Year’s reading and I have taken several proactive steps to aligning with the advice imparted by the cards. Artistically, I blew the dust off of my poor neglected blog and began writing weekly astrology horoscopes. I’ve also upgraded my website, which enabled me to do my first podcast!  Creating my first podcast was an extremely fulfilling experience and I expect more to come. What I’ve noticed through the years of using the cards for guidance is that when you actually make an effort to take actions as inferred from the cards: A. Those actions feel authentic and meaningful to your path; And B. The universe seems to helpfully intervene more often.

Although, I shared my New Year’s tradition with you here, this process also works well for setting NewMoon intentions. Understanding and aligning with the energy of the new moon cycle is a natural and consciously centered way to approach accomplishing goals. New moons are nature’s markers for new beginnings and this Sun Moon relationship is something cultures have used for thousands of years to aid with farming and marking religious ceremonies. Personally, I find that tapping into this natural cycle of about 29.5 days (one month), from New Moon to New Moon, instinctive. As the Moon waxes, or begins to reflect more sunlight, I feel my energy increase but when the Balsamic Moon phase comes, the phase just before the Moon conjuncts the Sun and goes dark, I feel more introverted and in need of more alone time. So, using this spread to gain insights into how you can best navigate a New Moon cycle can offer potent details into achieving your intentions via a monthly plan.

Feel free to change or modify my spread as you like but there’s a bigger conversation to be had by mixing ‘The Golden Moth Illumination Deck’ cards with your Tarot Deck of choice as it gives you a nice juxtaposition of card tones and insights.

 

Here’s to making the most of new cycles.

 

-Nicholas Dewart

 

--

Spread Breakdown

Use two decks:
A. The Golden Moth Illumination (oracle) Deck
B. Tarot Deck of choice

On the day of the New Year/Moon ask the cards while shuffling: “What energy should I embody to be the most empowered this new year/moon?”

Card of the Year/Moon: Pull the Card of the year/moon from the Tarot Deck.

Pull three flanking cards from the Golden Moth asking:
How best do I employ this energy?
How will I know if I’m on track with my progress?
How will I know if I’m off track with my progress?
Lastly, Interpret and journal.

Enjoy,

-Nicholas

 --

Nicholas uses the tools of astrology and tarot to aid him in grounding his natural intuition into constructive and practical guidance for his clients. He writes weekly astrology horoscopes and covers all topics related to Divination, Spirituality, New Age and Occult at his blog and via his Podcast. You can follow his work and sign up for his newsletter at: www.nicholasdewart.com He also pens snippy daily fortunes on Instagram. 

The Locked Gate

Yesterday I did a reading for myself and the card I puzzled over the most was #51, which I think of as "The Locked Gate." I wasn't sure exactly how it fit into my reading. I usually think of this card as one of "not being ready," or "closed opportunities." But it didn't seem to match what the other cards said.

My question was "Will it be beneficial for me to take a Memoir Writing class that starts next week?" One of my goals for 2016 is to write more, and taking writing classes helps me to keep up the practice. Yet some small part of me hesitated to sign up. I wondered if it was because I needed to have some space to myself at the beginning of the new year before filling my schedule with too many activities. Here is the full spread (click on the picture to get a larger view):

I wasn't quite sure what the "Past" card meant, but I interpreted it as "trust." In the past, I have taken other writing classes with playwright and teacher Douglas Jones at The Visual Arts Center of Richmond (click here to find writing classes that VisArts offers). He always sets a mood of trust and openness among his students. I started with "The Creative Spark" and finally felt brave enough to take "Writing the Shadow" in 2014. The Shadow class opened me up to looking at the darker side of myself - the parts I'm afraid to share or that I hide away. I didn't write about everything that scared me, but it helped me to understand and integrate that side of myself a little more, and to recognize the value of looking at and using the shadow in my writing, art, and life.

The "Present" card showed an open gate leading into a peaceful-looking park. I took that to mean openness and being ready to take the class. The "Challenge or Goal" was hands releasing dust (at least, that is what it looked like to me.) Perhaps this meant letting go - of control? Maybe stepping into the class not quite knowing what I will write or how it will come out? The Memoir course description said it would help writers to explore a focused part of their life, and I wasn't sure which part I would want to write about.

My "Internal" and "External Influences" were funny because they mirrored each other. In my inner world, I saw the process of writing memoir as a series of humongous mountains. In the external world, it showed a snake climbing over a small hill. This is so me. I always see projects as being huge and daunting, when in actuality they can only be carried out through a process of small steps, much like the snake going over the hill.

The "Release" card showed a guy sailing the seas on the back of a whale. I think of this card as one of adventure and searching. But because it was in the release position, I thought it meant I shouldn't go looking around everywhere or feel like I have to reach far, that maybe the stories I need to write are closer to me than I think. My "Accept" card showed the locked gate, which I'll get back to in a moment. My "Possibilities" cards showed a hand writing and sprouting lots of new ideas, and also a hand holding a key to a locked box which seemed to mean unlocking my writing spirit. So why the locked gate? That seemed contradictory to those two cards. I think there was a clue in my "Direction" card. It showed a hand with a cut on it - my writing might reveal some pain or make me feel vulnerable.

I pondered the locked gate. I even looked up the interpretations in the handbook that I myself wrote! It said: "Restrictions, not being ready, opportunity is unavailable, being denied - 'having the door closed in your face.'" 

Hmm.

Everything else in the reading seemed to point to the fact that taking the Memoir class would be a beneficial experience that would open up my writing self. So why did I have to accept this locked gate? 

This morning I woke up and understood. I also had clarity on other parts of the reading. I think the gate does mean something restricted. I think it's the part of myself I had restricted to others, the part that I am ashamed to show anyone but those closest to me who won't push me away. It's my anger. Most people are surprised to learn that I have an angry side. It's something I've wanted to write about but wasn't sure how to share. I think the card is telling me that it's time to accept this locked-up part of myself. It's time to write about it and own it, and thereby release it (I hope). 

Last month I was talking to a friend about fairy tales and horror movies. I told him how sometimes I want to watch horror movies but they scare me so much I can't go to sleep and they make me feel like the world is a horrible place.* My friend, who loves horror movies, said "The world can be a horrible place." I told him that even though fairy tales could also be horrific, I have been drawn to them since I was a kid. I said, "There's something about fairy tales that's not as bad as horror movies. Maybe because in the end there is comfort." I realized that fairy tales would not have the impact they do without that fear and the subsequent promise of comfort. The fear is an important element of the story. In fact, it is crucial. I told him I wanted to integrate more of my darker self into my art and writing, even in my work for children. He said he wanted to integrate more of the lighter side of himself into his already dark art and writing. 

Going back to the reading, I looked at the "Past," "Challenge," and "Direction" cards again and saw that they they have further dimension by alluding to a specific period of my life when my anger was uncontrollable, when I thought it might destroy myself and a relationship that I had. Looking back, that experience was a gift because it revealed the worst part of myself, and showed that I can still be loved and loving in spite of it. That part of me will never go away because it is me, though just an aspect. Just like my "good" side is just another aspect of myself. 

Now I'm not sure if I will ever share those experiences with anyone but my writing class and a few loved ones, and if I'm brave enough to write about it at all whether I will choose to share it out loud. But the cards don't lie about what is needed in my life.

I signed up for the writing class.

* If you're looking for a really good "horror" movie, watch "The Babadook." I'd heard it was extremely scary but extremely good, and I waffled over watching it for a month. When I finally did watch it, I was not scared. I was actually moved enough to shed tears. It was the first time I saw my own dark side externalized (though of course exaggerated in the movie). I empathized with both the protagonist and the monster, seeing it as a metaphor for the horror within. My boyfriend totally didn't get the metaphor, though, so I had to explain it to him.

Fortune Cards Workshop

Ever since creating my own oracle deck, The Golden Moth Illumination Deck, I've wanted to lead a workshop to encourage others to make their own. But unlike my deck, which was reproduced by offset and digital printing, I thought the experience of making a one-of-a-kind handmade deck would be approachable for beginners, and a refreshing change for me. The cards above were some samples that I created using acrylic paint, collage, and ink. 

In February I taught my first "How to Make Your Own Fortune Cards" workshop at The Visual Arts Center of Richmond. I will be teaching another section of this weekend workshop on July 18 and 19th, so sign up here if you're interested.

I call them "fortune cards" because I don't want to be too confining by calling them tarot or oracle cards, though they are definitely inspired by them. I thought participants might want the openness of using them for different purposes. The title was also kind of a play on words - people can "make their own fortune" as well as "make their own fortune cards."

The participants in the workshop were wonderful. Everyone came in with such an open mind. I loved the concepts behind their cards as much as I loved the cards themselves. Many of the students were at least somewhat knowledgeable of tarot and oracle cards, but there were a couple of people who weren't. Some students professed they had little art experience, so it was pretty amazing to see what they turned out. Every student had their own unique perspective and each approached their cards thoughtfully. They used watercolor, ink, colored pencil, collage, and photocopy transfer, and they graciously allowed me to share their cards with you.

This deck was inspired by the major arcana of the Rider-Waite tarot. She mixed traditional tarot imagery with her own symbolism and and a fresh color palette.

These cards were based on the sun, moon, moths, and butterflies as symbols of introverted and extroverted energy.

This deck used four suits as in tarot, but each suit was based upon different pyschological states. I love how she used action and sound words in her cards.

This deck was also based on the major arcana, but each symbol she chose had personal significance in her life. 

These cards also used personal symbolism, and each card represented one year of his life.

He used a cool technique called xylene transfer. He placed photocopies of images face-down onto his cards, saturated them with a clear blender marker, then rubbed the backs of the copies down hard with a spoon to transfer the images into the cards. This technique works for laser copies in black and white and color, but it's not the best for your health so I'd recommend you do it in a well-ventilated room.

This student is a poet, and she used titles and imagery from various poems to create her deck. Great idea, huh?

This student is an illustrator who used imagery from her own dreams.

Look closer at some of this surreal imagery. She hopes to create a more finished deck in the future, and I hope she does because I'd love to own a copy myself! You can check out more of Amy Lovvik's art here. 

Here are some more sample cards I made during and after the class. The beetle card in the middle uses another form of photocopy transfer called gel transfer. There are a couple techniques to do this, but for this one I applied clear acrylic medium to my painted card, placed the photocopy of the beetle face-down on top of it, and burnished it so it stuck flat. After it dried, I wet the back of the paper with water and rubbed the paper off with my finger. Some of the image rubbed off, but most of it remained. 

I also created stencils for the backs of my cards out of cut-out cardstock. I placed the stencils on top of the cards and dabbed acrylic paint on them with a paintbrush. 

Teaching the workshop made me see how empowering and creative it is for individuals to make their own decks of cards. It was an amazing thing to witness.

I hope you've enjoyed seeing some of the wonderful things that came out of this workshop, and maybe you're inspired to make your own!

The "Underneath" Story

Note: I'm re-posting this from my art blog.

A reader commented on my 2014 Re-Cap post that her year was full of less tangible accomplishments than mine. I like that observation. It's true that some years are full of busy activity, and some can be more low-key in terms of visibility, but a lot can go on underneath the surface. I'm going to use my Golden Moth Illumination Deck to show you what 2014 felt like to me.

I receive e-mails with tips and quotes from a creative business coach named Alexis Fedor. One quote I liked a lot was by novelist Zora Neale Hurston:

"There are years that ask questions and years that answer."

For me, 2014 was a year for both. I asked a lot of questions and experimented with trying to get the results I thought I wanted. I'm still sorting through the answers. I wanted to find a way to make a reliable living through my art, to find a way out of the ups and downs. I wanted to prove myself. But the truth is, I'm still experimenting. And I doubt that will ever end. Maybe I thrive off of the ups and downs more than I'd care to admit.

As an artist, I have never liked being fully in the spotlight. I want to reach people and share with them through my art, blog, and newsletter, but sometimes I feel very exposed doing so. And last year I felt more exposed than ever.

I wanted to take on a new role last year. One of "business person." I put myself out there in ways that felt exciting but sometimes uncomfortable. I worked a lot with my printer, figuring out solutions to issues that came up and figuring out the best ways to print my products. I called store owners and sent out many e-mails to try to get my notecards into stores. I had some success with that. But trying to learn how to run the business and apply it immediately sometimes felt like this:

It was a balancing act and a lot of scrambling. I went from feeling triumphant when I received an order, to feeling scared and overwhelmed that I couldn't handle anything or that nothing would result from my endeavors.

By throwing myself into my business, I also realized that running a business is unlike anything else I have done. It's not a flight of fancy. To grow a business, I'll need to keep it going on a day-to-day basis. I need to think about the next steps, how to make things work better. I run on cycles. The idea of long-term anything can feel like a burden. I wondered, "Is this really what I want? If not this, then what else should I do?"

By the end of last year, I had reaped my harvest. I wasn't a millionaire, but I had achieved small financial successes. Through trial and experience, I had made some good decisions. But I didn't feel good about it. It didn't seem like enough. I didn't feel good enough.

Right before I traveled to Rochester, NY to visit my family for the Christmas holiday, I spent an evening with a friend. Through intense conversations over dinner, in the car, and on a chilly walk through my old neighborhood, we both experienced a catharsis. 

"I feel pathetic," I told him. There were so many things I wanted for my future - children, a family, to continue to be a working artist. And I still couldn't see how that would be possible. It felt like so much work just to keep afloat. I felt lost and in need of a change. 

I still judged myself so harshly based on my social/monetary standing in life. Over dinner, my friend and I realized that's silly! Modern society places so much emphasis on our social statuses. As humans, we can no longer be happy with just surviving. We need to prove ourselves to other people, to bolster our own egos, to strive for what is considered "success."

I placed so much emphasis on money, thinking it would bring me happiness. I thought I was being reasonable, that I need money to raise a family, to buy a house, to continue to make art. I don't think there's anything wrong with wanting those things. But feeling like I'm not capable of achieving them has tortured me for so long. That night, I realized that those things were outside of myself. What matters most is how I feel.

Rather than trying to be someone worthy of feeling happiness, I just want to be happy. And for me, that means not trying to control the future. Not thinking Point A leads to Point B leads to Point C. Not trying to find the answers that will fix everything. I know my desire for control will flare up again and again. But when I get that anxious feeling of dread when I think about the future, I'll know that something is amiss. And I'll try to move toward the thing that feels better. Moment by moment.

It's been almost three weeks since I returned to Richmond from holiday, and this is where I'm at right now:

I feel like I'm floating through my life, incubating. I'm not trying to push myself too hard. Last year was a year of willfulness, of trying to put things in motion in the outside world. It taught me a lot. 

But I'm very tired from all that striving. Now I feel like retreating into the part of myself that bubbles with creativity, stories, visions, unknowns. I want to nurture the part of myself that doesn't want to be rational or successful. It's the part of me that creates for pure joy.

I want to write and illustrate the stories that have been living inside me, half-formed, for years. I don't want to think about the long-term plan right now or where my work will lead me. I just want to do it. 

I don't have all the answers. But answers just lead to more questions, anyway. 

Golden Moth Giveaway + Shop Sale Through December 14th!

Finally, finally... After much poking and prodding of digital files and discussions with my printer, James River Press, the second printing of The Golden Moth Illumination Deck has arrived! This time, I had the cards printed digitally on a smooth cardstock and they were corner-rounded by the printer (taking the strain off my shoulders!) For those of you who haven't been following its progress, The Golden Moth Illumination Deck is a set of symbolic cards that I self-published in 2012 with the help of lovely people who backed my Kickstarter campaign. You can read about the whole sage here. They are oracle cards (kind of like tarot cards), meant to be used for divination or any creative purpose you can think of! Take a look:

I just finished listing them in my Etsy shop, Sprout Head, and this time around there are a few different purchasing options. You can now buy the deck separately from the handbook. If you buy just the deck, it comes with a brief fold-out information guide to get you started on using the cards. This guide gives advice on how to give a reading and interpret the cards and shows you one spread layout. It does not include individual symbol interpretations.

If you want that, you'll have to purchase the handbook. It contains all the information from the first handbook that I published, but it is updated with individual card interpretations. It comes as a hard copy and a PDF version. If you purchase the hard copy of the handbook alone or with the deck, you will also receive the PDF version as a FREE bonus! But note that this offer cannot be used retroactively if you purchase the PDF version first and the hard copy later. Sorry, no refunds. 

You can see the listings for all the different Golden Moth products here. I hope you are as excited about it as I am. In celebration, I'm offering two cool things: a giveaway and a shop sale! Read on:

GOLDEN MOTH GIVEAWAY

I'm giving away Golden Moth Illumination Decks + Handbooks to TWO lucky winners! Giveaway ends on the evening (Eastern Standard Time) of Sunday, December 14th.

How to enter:
1. Leave a comment on the blog about why this deck should be yours (or gifted to a friend, if you so desire).
2. Check this blog on the evening (EST) of Monday, December 15th to find out if you've won. If you aren't subscribed to my blog or might forget to check back, please leave your e-mail address in your comment, but put some spaces between the words so the spam-bots don't steal it. I need a way to reach you if you win - VERY IMPORTANT!
3. If you know of someone who would be interested in this giveaway, please SHARE! I will be sharing this giveaway on my Golden Moth Blog, Sprout Head Facebook Page, Golden Moth Facebook Page, and Instagram. Pick your favorite social media link!

SPROUT HEAD SHOP SALE

If you don't want to take your chances with the giveaway, how about taking 15% off your total purchase in my online shop, Sprout Head? Through Sunday, December 14th, use coupon code HOLIDAY2014  HAPPY2014 upon checkout to receive your discount. (The previous HOLIDAY code had a minimum order requirement, the HAPPY one does not!) You must enter the coupon upon checkout or you won't get your discount - it does not happen automatically.

Enjoy!

Tattoo!

I forgot to post about this before, but a couple of months ago someone had an image from the deck tattooed on their arm. What an honor!

Golden Moth Review by Charmed Finishing School

Oh my gosh, I meant to post about this earlier. This is a totally awesome review of my deck by Deborah Castellano of Charmed Finishing School. Now I only have 2 more limited edition decks, probably owing in large part to her! But don't worry, I'm going to print more decks this fall. Read the review here: http://www.charmedfinishingschool.com/the-golden-moth-illumination-deck-review/

I also wanted to remark on her comment that she could separate the cards into piles of positives, neutrals, and negatives, but she could also see how they could be interpreted differently depending on the card groupings and positions. When I created the cards, I also had my own interpretations of each card. Even though I wanted the symbols to be flexible, there were some that I clearly saw as positive or negative. For example, card #55 with the cut hand. It was hard for me to see that card as positive. Since I have done so many readings with the deck, I've learned from other people their many different interpretations, and this has added to the deck to make it richer and more collaborative than I ever even imagined! Someone interpreted that card as being open to vulnerability, which was a very positive thing in her particular situation. This is where the magic of the deck mixes with the magic of the people who use it. It makes me so happy that this deck is out in the world.

I also really liked Deborah's comment:

"Not having to worry about more than a century of very intricate and specific interpretations of the cards actually made my readings more accurate."

This was exactly what I was hoping for with this deck. I created it as an artist, from my own personal experiences, and being naturally drawn to certain symbols. I thought about researching more into what each symbol should mean. I'm glad I didn't, because every person brings something different to the table with their own lives and outlooks.

Although after doing a survey of people who used the deck, when I release the commercial version of the new deck sometime this fall I will include an interpretation guide because some people really want it, and it'll serve as a "jumping-off point" rather than "set-in-stone"-type deal.

Thank you so much Deborah for a fabulous (and in some parts hilarious - see her footnote) review! Deborah is a frequent contributor to Occult/Pagan sources such as Llewellyn, Witchvox, PaganSquare and Witches & Pagans magazine. Deborah’s book, The Arte of Glamour is available for purchase on Amazon in paperback and Kindle. Deborah also writes romantica fiction, sells handspun yarn and other goodies in her craft shop The Mermaid and The Crow and handcrafted items for magical/occult practice in her shop The Glamoury Apothecary.

Golden Moth 2nd Anniversary...and a Special Discount!

In early February of 2012, I launched my Kickstarter campaign to produce The Golden Moth Illumination Deck in a limited run of 300 decks. In mid-June of that year (2 months later than I had planned) I sent off the first decks to generous Kickstarter backers who supported me. It has now been over two years since it all began. Little did I know that the Golden Moth would sweep me up a whirlwind of fluttery wings and deposit me back on earth as a changed, and hopefully wiser, person.

I mailed deck #254 out of 300 last week, which means I only have around 40 or so decks left for purchase from the original edition and I'm keeping a few for myself. Last week I went through all of the remaining cards and finished sorting out the printing variations/errors so that the remaining cards would be ready for corner-rounding. 

Here are the last remaining cards on my shelf:

Some of you might remember when they took up a kitchen counter and two tables:

Back in 2012 I had arranged for my printers, Parcell Press, to print and trim the cards for me but I had decided to sort, collate, and corner-round the cards and assemble the boxes by hand in order to cut down on my costs. My boyfriend, parents, and a handful of friends helped me out as well. Before I received the cards, I had envisioned assembling all 300 of the decks within a relatively short span of time, maybe a couple months. After a couple of months of almost losing my mind from the pressure of delivering 127 Kickstarter rewards, I decided from then on the decks would be assembled in periodic small batches. I would spend literally hundreds of hours doing the aforementioned tasks for the next two years.

What led me to this situation was severely underestimating the time it would take me to do these tasks by hand. Why, oh why, did I not time myself in making a prototype from start to finish? Take corner-rounding. Each card has 4 corners to corner-round. Each deck consists of 75 cards. That's 300 corners per deck. That's 90,000 corners for 300 decks. Let me repeat that: NINETY-THOUSAND. Hmm, when you break it down like that, that's a lot of corners and a lot of potential shoulder pain.

Here are some other fun Golden Moth statistics: 

* For my Kickstarter campaign, I was backed by 127 people. Most were from the US, and 31 of those people lived in my current hometown of Richmond, VA. I also had 10 international backers from Canada, Australia, England, Singapore, Italy, New Zealand, and Norway.

* I raised $4,800, $800 more than my funding goal!

* 102 decks were purchased through the campaign.

* For the other Kickstarter rewards, I sent out 194 postcards, 67 notecards, 39 bookplates, 26 screenprints, 111 pieces of small original art, and gave 7 Intuitive Card Readings (like tarot readings but using the Golden Moth cards).

* I've given at least 30 Intuitive Card Readings to people using my pre-Golden Moth deck prototype, which was much smaller with loosely-drawn black-and-white images. I've given an estimated 50 or more readings to people in-person and online using the published Golden Moth deck.

The other day when I went through my Kickstarter campaign report to tally up these numbers, I read through the list of backers again. I re-experienced the amazed, encouraging feeling of having friends, relatives, and strangers donate money because they believed in me and my project. At one point during the midst of Golden Moth assembling madness, I told the people closest to me that if I knew it would be this hard, I might never have done the project at all. I don't handle stress well to begin with, but producing The Golden Moth Illumination Deck has been, to date, the biggest and most overwhelming project of my life. Now I look back and affirm that the statement was true, that I probably wouldn't have done it if I'd known.

And so I'm really glad I didn't know, because the deck has also been one of the most far-reaching and positive projects of my life. I made some new friends and became closer with friends I already had through the project. I've had many people tell me how much they've enjoyed and appreciated the deck, and how it has brought some clarity to their lives. I am very thankful for that. This has also been the most "collaborative" project I've ever done. The cards take on different meanings with each new owner, and their use and purpose goes beyond just me. I love that about the deck.

So I'm forging ahead with the next step. I would like The Golden Moth Illumination Deck to reach an even greater audience. I plan to make a larger commercial run of decks so that I can lower the per-unit cost of producing the decks and get more decks into stores and other venues. I don't want to do any more handwork on the decks in order to free up my time for promotion and creative energy (as opposed to corner-rounding). I also plan to revise and expand the handbook.

To celebrate the 2nd Anniversary of the Golden Moth and to pave the way for this new expansion, I'm now offering the limited edition deck in my shop, Sprout Head, for a $5 discount - from $50 to $45. Added to this, I'm offering a super-special (and super-short) sale in my shop that ends on Wednesday, June 15th. Use the coupon code FLYAWAY upon checkout and receive an ADDITIONAL 10% off your entire shop purchase! If you apply this to the deck, it will cost only $40.50 - that's $9.50 off the original price! Remember, you must apply the coupon code upon checkout or you won't get the additional discount. If you've been waiting to get your hands on this limited edition handmade version of the deck, don't delay or else they'll soon be gone!

I'm also offering a sweeter discount for those of you who already own a deck. If you complete this short survey, you are eligible to receive a coupon code for 20% off your entire store purchase. This coupon will expire on August 31st. To take the survey, click here. Please respond by the end of June if you want your feedback to be incorporated into the creation of the new deck and handbook. If you do not want to take the survey but would still like to provide feedback, feel free to post comments on this blog or leave a comment/message on my Golden Moth Facebook page: www.facebook.com/goldenmothdeck

Happy 2nd Birthday, Golden Moth!

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Trust in a Smile

I don't usually pull cards for myself. I used to quite often, but I found that in the past I relied too heavily on the cards and not enough on my self. The cards are a tool to access the self, but it can turn unhealthy when they start replacing trust in your own feelings and judgement. On the rare occasion when I have wanted a reading, I like to go to another reader for advice who can be more objective than I can be.

But I've had the nagging feeling that I should pull some cards and see what comes up, and today I did. My reading was done on my art desk, and you can see some evidence of art-making in progress. I've been doing a lot of wondering and analyzing in the past couple months about this almost constant anxiety I have in my day-to-day life. One of the greatest sources of anxiety at the moment is my solo art show coming up in June. I don't have much time to create new artwork, yet not only am I trying to create all new pieces for the show, I'm also using a medium which is a bit more unfamiliar to me - printmaking on fabric. The processes alone are time consuming, and I've already spent a couple months just doing research about techniques and styles of fiber art - quilting in particular. It has been really fun to learn about and work in a new medium, but also daunting. I am also working part-time and teaching. I know many people who have schedules far more demanding than mine, but I am perpetually anxious about whether I can do it all. I have always preferred a more slow, relaxed pace to life but the demands of earning a somewhat stable income while also creating artwork make that difficult. I had the last couple of days off from work and thought I'd get a lot done, but I had a lot of trouble focusing due to the pressure I put on myself as well as feeling not quite sure about which step to take next in my art process.

I asked the cards for advice about how to manage all my duties and my life leading up to the art show.



The first card represents "The Past," and shows a bell ringing out. I took that to signify my feelings of alarm, a bell call letting me know that I needed to start focusing on my art show. It may also symbolize the need for communication through my art - this is my time to sing out and express myself. The second card represents "The Present," and shows a flower growing out of the flames. I think this card means that I am going through a "trial by fire" in terms of managing my workload and creative processes. I think it's a time when I am being tested, or testing myself, to show that I can emerge from this period of intensity shining brightly and transformed by the flames. I've always thought of this as the "alchemy" card. The next card, #17, represents my "Challenge or Goal." Again, this is an image of great intensity showing a lightening bolt striking open an egg. I feel this shows outside forces (the art show, my teaching and work duties) coming in and cracking me open like an eggshell. While this split is sudden and forceful, perhaps it is telling me that it's time to get out of my shell right now, to accept all that is going on. Underneath that card is #37 showing my "Internal Influence" - my feelings. I feel like that traveller, staring up at vast mountains and wondering how I'm going to cross. I guess a more positive view of this is that I am an adventurer about to scale mountains. Maybe it's daunting, but at the same time exciting. At the top of this column is the card representing my "External Influence." It shows a figure under a bridge with two faces. When I created this card, I always thought of this figure as the god Janus. From Wikipedia:

In ancient Roman religion and myth, Janus (Latin: IANVS) is the god of beginnings and transitions,^[1] thence also of gates, doors, passages, endings and time. He is usually depicted as having two faces, since he looks to the future and to the past. The Romans named the month of January (Ianuarius) in his honor.

At first glance, I thought this card showed an element of busy-ness. The figure seemed to be looking back and forth rapidly, constantly switching from one thing to another (for me - my various obligations, as well as the switch from research to concepts to actual art-making.) But I think this card also represents the theme of my art show. I am creating works based on a specific time and place, a small town in Northern New Mexico that I visited five years ago. It was an experience very close to my heart, and something I've struggled to adequately express through words and images ever since. I think the card shows that this show is important to me because it is a way for me to look back at the past, ahead to my future (I'm hoping to continue this series of images and use the images to apply for arts grants) as well as the bridging of the two. This is something I've thought consciously about as I create the work, how I'm using new processes that I would not have used 5 years ago, and how my thoughts and experiences since that time have influenced how I look at those memories now.

Moving on to the advice cards, the "Release" card shows a figure holding the sun, moon, and stars in one hand. I think this card has to do with control. I need to release the need to control my universe. I need to let things flow as they will. The card above it is the "Accept" card and shows a snake slithering over a hill. I think this card is telling me to get over that hump, to just proceed steadily and keep low to the earth. I think that at times I get lost in thought and speculation, and I really just need to keep working and not worry so much. I think this card is also poking fun at my "Internal Influence" card that showed vast mountains. Perhaps I'm making mountains out of molehills at times, and need to just keep a steady pace and stick to what's in front of me- one step, or slither, at a time. Card #34 shows a house on fire. I was not scared of that card. It signified my "Possible Outcome" and I thought of it as a card of purification, of "cleaning house." It seems significant that I have so many cards with the element of fire in them - the flower in the flame, the lightening bolt, and now this burning house. It made me remember that for me, the artwork I'm creating is very personal and getting it in the open is a form of catharsis for me. Maybe this means I will experience intense emotions, perhaps intensified anxiety, but I think in the end it is all for the best. Card #47 shows "Further Possibilities" and it confirms my feelings that the process I'm going through now is a way to bring my memories full circle, as much as memories can come full circle. The plants in this card go through a cycle of death and rebirth. There's more to the story of what these memories mean to me, but I'd like to keep some of it private. But I will say that these memories are a joyful beginning to a road that also led through much pain, and I think that the celebration of these memories will help me to release that pain.

The last two cards in the upper right are the "Theme" cards for my reading. Card #36 flipped out of my deck while shuffling so I set it aside. It shows a boy with a sack, travelling light-heartedly. Card #15 shows a woman smiling. I think that both of these cards show that I need to relax and enjoy the process, that everything will work out and be okay. I can get so caught up in worrying and planning for the future. Every so often I will experience a moment where there is this incredible emptiness in my brain. It happens so rarely that it is immediately noticeable. This emptiness is saying "Nothing is wrong. There is nothing to worry about right now." That sounds kind of crazy, but I have an almost constant low-level anxiety that fills my thoughts and makes me worry about what I have to worry about next! I've been observing these thought processes, and I realize that it's not about what actually pops up in my life. It's about my state of mind. I know I need to find a way to relax and feel okay with life, but it is very hard for me to do. I've been like this for as long as I can remember. Maybe I should carry around the card with the smiling woman. Her face is very reassuring. Every time I panic that I don't have the energy or capacity to do what I need to, I need to pull the card out, take a deep breath, and trust in her smile.

From "The Daily Draw"

Hi everyone!

I wanted to let you in on another blogger who has posted some well-wrought insights on a couple of the Golden Moth cards. Her name is Tierney Sadler, and she posts almost every day on "The Daily Draw" blog, pulling from her vast and varied collection of tarot decks. Llewellyn is publishing her Tarot Toolkit called "The Deck of 1000 Spreads" in March! Check it out. Even if you are not a tarot-enthusiast, her posts are insightful enough to get anyone thinking about life and the choices we all make.

You can read her Golden Moth interpretations here:

Card #17- What do you see in this card? Does your interpretation relate to something in your own life right now? What message does it hold for you?

Card #58 - What value and import do you place on community? How much do you give to your community? Do you feel there's room in your life to kick it up a notch?

What I love about Tierney's readings is her ability to cut through to the heart of a matter in a sometimes brutally honest way. She also provides historical background information about the cards - something I've never had much patience to do, which is why I created my own card deck in an intuitive way rather than spending a long time on research. So be sure to check out her blog for her individual spin on the cards!

I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays. For me, it is a time of stress as well as joy, so I'm now making a very pleasant effort to rest and relax. That means reading lots of books, watching television, and not leaving the house much. Ah, such a nice break. In my head, I am also working on a review of the year which I plan to post soon. I wish everyone the ability to enjoy some peace and fun whenever you can!

The Man in the Moon

About a month ago, friend, illustrator, and Golden Moth Deck owner Katie Green asked me to write about Card #21, or what I consider "The Moon" card. Forgive me if this post gets a bit rambly, because it has been on my mind for awhile now. It is also serendipitous because when I checked out Priscilla Smith's blog Spirit Speak 444, I discovered that she had pulled this card today! Priscilla is pulling one card everyday this November and writing about it. You can read her Moon/Star post here. It has been interesting to read Priscilla's interpretations of the cards because it further reinforces my decision to keep the symbols simple and in a single color (which was also suggested by Katie Green - double thanks!) I think these artistic decisions make the interpretation of each symbol much more open and free-flowing. With simple line drawings and no color cues, people are able to see what comes to their unique minds without too much outside influence. Priscilla's posts have also shown me that how someone literally sees an image is so very personal, based on their history and personality. It all continues to fascinate me, as both an artist and the creator of this deck. When Priscilla first mentioned this card in her Golden Moth Deck Interview, she called it "The Man from the Moon." Upon seeing this, I realized that when turned upside down, the object in the center of the image does look kind of like a person! Crazy, I did not picture this when I was drawing it. Actually, I meant the object to look a bit like a castle or a weird plant. I left it purposely ambiguous. The image actually came to me many years before as I was doodling some designs for T-shirts and this strange castle-ish image came out onto the page. I certainly didn't think I would end up turning it into a divination card.

When I created this symbol, I was highly inspired by the Moon card of the traditional Rider-Waite tarot deck and the interpretation I found on www.learntarot.com. 

The Moon card is often seen as representing fears, anxieties, heightened fantasies and imagination, intuition, and creativity. I thought of this card as a ghostly imagination-castle growing out of a lake reflecting stars. However, the reflections are not total mirror images, which makes them a little less cut-and-dry. In fact, for a long time this card still remained ambiguous, artistically and interpretation-wise. I had some idea of what it meant through studying the Moon card in tarot tradition, but it still eluded me a bit when it came up in readings. Now I can see the symbol of an upside-down Man in the Moon is very fitting for this card as well. It reminds me of the Hanged Man card in the tarot tradition.The Hanged Man is one of those paradoxical cards. While the words "Hanged Man" can sound ominous, the man in the card is very calm and the ring of light around his head makes him seem as though he is enlightened in the spiritual sense. (And isn't it further serendipity that my Moon card is #21, and the tarot Hanged Man card is that number reversed - #12? Woo...believe me, I didn't do that on purpose.) From learntarot.com:  

"The main lesson of the Hanged Man is that we "control" by letting go - we "win" by surrendering. The figure on Card 12 has made the ultimate surrender - to die on the cross of his own travails - yet he shines with the glory of divine understanding. He has sacrificed himself, but he emerges the victor. The Hanged Man also tells us that we can "move forward" by standing still. By suspending time, we can have all the time in the world."

I see the influence of this paradoxical and mystical energy in my Moon card. In readings for others and for myself, the Moon card will often come up during times of uncertainty. But I also think it is about trusting the moment and allowing unknowing to function in your life. The moon appears when the clear light of day is absent and we are left with a different kind of light - bright in its own way, but softer, more mysterious and magical. I think that this card often appears in times of life when events, thoughts, or actions have this sort of mysterious quality. Perhaps we are building a castle out of moonlight, letting the castle grow out of the water like a strange plant with its own life-force. Maybe we are simply dreaming, letting ourselves float through the night because we know the dream won't last. Or maybe we are dreaming so that we can figure out how to build the dream during waking life. The light of the moon is our testing ground, a time when we can create, drift, imagine, explore what we don't know. This all sounds pretty ambiguous and mystical, I know. But I do believe that is what the Moon card is about, at least to me. A time of transitions, a time to see our world in a different light. What does the Moon mean to you?

This card also has personal significance for me because I believe it is my guiding force when doing readings for other people. Since self-publishing the deck, I have done many more readings and I think that I have grown as a reader because of it. There have been many instances when people have told me they felt better after a reading, and I could feel it from their smiles and the lightness in their demeanor. But there are times when I feel nervous or unsure of what others are getting from the readings. Sometimes I go into anxiety-mode and start talking much more than is necessary, trying to fill the nervous space by leaving no stone unturned. I've come to realize that reading cards is very much about being in the moment, responding to people's needs as well as knowing what it is in my power to offer them. I can't always tell people what they want to hear. As much as I want to help people who are going through difficult situations, I have decided that my role as a reader is one of facilitator for people to understand themselves better. I try to remind people that they do know themselves and what they need to do, the cards are just there to help them see it in a more conscious way. I am not an all-knower, all-fixer, or there to placate them just so I feel good about myself. I don't think anyone really expects that of me, but it is tempting to wish that I could make people's lives better through my readings.

I am constantly floored by the mystery of life. Who is to say what effect - subtle or larger - that the readings will have on a person? Maybe I helped someone become more conscious of a negative pattern. Maybe talking through a reading helped lightened a burden for someone. Maybe the burden will come back, maybe it won't. I can't know or control it all. All I can do is try my best to be open to what is needed in the moment. Whenever I shuffle the cards, I've come to ask in my head "What does so-&-so need to hear right now? What does he/she need?" which amusingly makes me think about the Oracle in The Matrix movies. And it is amazing when I allow myself to be open to the cards and see them fresh each time. I definitely have personal interpretations for each card, but lately I've been trying to truly be in the moment and trust my intuition. It actually makes a card look different each time. Certain aspects will appear more strongly to me. I also am more open to other people's interpretations. When I am unsure of a card's meaning in the spread, I will ask the Querent what they think. And this is always the "right" meaning for their situation. I have learned so much more about my cards and their possibilities through the thoughts and suggestions of other people.

Whenever you feel confused or unsure, remember the Moon. Don't try to understand right away. Let it be. Let it be scary, let it be crazy, let it be the wrong thing for you. Or the right thing. Maybe they are the same thing. Let it ramble just as much as this post about the Moon. It is your nightmare, your dream, your mysterious and sacred life.